I’ve been waiting to hear the smallest things from you.
Not I love you
that’s easy, that’s surface.
But you’re safe here.
I want this.
I want us.
I want you.
I’ve been waiting to hear that I’m not just the convenience of comfort,
not the in-between when life feels lonely.
Tell me I’m enough.
Tell me you’re crazy about me not quietly,
not halfway,
but out loud, where it matters.
I wish you showed it.
But I see now I’m not lucky enough for that kind of love.
Because if you wanted to, you would.
Cliche right?
If you felt it, I’d never have to beg to know.
To love and be loved out loud
that’s all I ever asked.
But your silence answers louder than any promise could.
So I sit here,
feeling pieces of myself slip away,
the parts that once reached for you without fear.
My 100% doesn’t feel worth giving anymore
not when I’m the only one fighting to be seen.
I only have fragments of myself left to offer,
and even those come trembling.
Because I’m scared to give the same me twice,
to hand over my heart
when it’s already been met with stillness.
I’ve made up my mind now
to live in the silence you taught me.
To stop waiting for the words that will never come.
Maybe the ache will fade there.
Maybe one day I’ll stop confusing your quiet
for care.
You won’t ever understand my heart
only your own.
And I’m done trying to make mine
fit inside of it.
