Some days everything hurts.
I feel my tears ache through my bones
Chest tight, mind blaring, back crushed from ancestral burdens unknown.
I count the days until it feels numb
But they told me not feeling was the easy way out and this torture was made just for me..
I stopped wishing for the days miracles happen and looking for those fairy tales to come true.
Those Expectations.. I watched them die here..
I felt the words pressing against my forehead telling me all the pain I simply deserve
How the quiet nights not only remind me of how lonely I am but how grounded I can be
How I run to the silence not for solitude but the opportunity to dissociate if only for a minute..
I imagine a version of me loved not only as a woman but a mother, sister, and wife.
And as much as they tell me to speak life in myself I rather hear you whispering to my heart.
I’ve looked at my reflection before but when she talks no words comes out.
At least you’re pretty…
A Barbie doll on display..
But honestly.. I’m just..
A prisoner of my own mind
A mime
An internal scream looking to be held for release
My souls still linger but I lost my voice and everyone who touches my heart uses a burning finger tip.
I have no way to express how much all this truly hurts
But thank God for pretty privilege it’s the only thing I manage to make work..
Brielle K.
