Drifted Thoughts

I never imagined what heaven would be like because I felt paradise in thoughts of being embraced in your arms.

I’ve been praying for a physical appearance of you instead of the fulfillment of what’s really missing inside.

Drowning in criticism your reassurance has always been my safety net.

Your eyes full of divine lies but baby I promise not to flinch not even one time, just look, keep staring into that nonchalant future of mine.

But I can’t allow myself to be so blind. So occupied in this apocryphal illusive love life of mine.

I’m not your walking shadow. The pick up after your destruction. You’ve been rebuilding me up like a personal project, brushing and blending, recreating, stroking your paintbrush but your taste is tasteless.. Bitter, broken, confused, and what happens when you’re all done.

When the pencils break, paintbrushes dry up, and the halo falls, what happens to us? Our souls just depart. Emotions tragically at fault. I’m lost.

I’m not your modern day Mona Lisa. You’re personal Marilyn Monroe. I won’t speak courage into your heart anymore find yourself a different halo.

I use to fondle around in your love and crave you like a drug. Strung out from a simple three letter word. Shook up, torn, wrapped up in your arms, listening to your heartbeat it was the rehab for my soul.

Now I pray and regretfully ponder at the sky asking the angels and God why do they tease the wrong hearts.

I’m still searching for paradise … Blue skies, soft lips, in tandem heart beats, soul matching, mind touching, still searching for my paradise !

Satan just camouflaged in a brown skin image causing my mind to get intimate. Now I can’t find my damn paradise. I keep getting lost in circles, I can’t find my paradise,
I keep walking in straight lines, but baby I still can’t find my paradise, I’ll give myself time to redefine my love. I got to find my paradise..

– Brielle D